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LoginAre we happier with few or many choices? One subject settles the debate—dating. I n the age of online dating there are more romantic options than there are fish in the, well, you know. On the appropriately named site Plenty of Fish, for instance, you can pore over profiles of hundreds or thousands of potential mates before deciding which ones to contact. Such unfettered choice means a better shot at true love—or so many daters believe. The more options you have, the assumption goes, the more likely you are to find the one who truly suits you. Yet many daters are finding that less romantic choice yields top-notch results without all the angst. My longtime friend Shannon Whitaker, a family-practice physician in the Pittsburgh area, found her husband using eHarmony, which has its customers fill out a detailed compatibility survey, then sends them a restricted number of matches, typically anywhere from a few to a dozen or so at a time. Two weeks after she signed up for the site, Whitaker spotted a guy who intrigued her.
Show Topic 1. Does online dating feel more like a game and less like a process of finding your right person? Rachel Vanderbilt, the Relationship Doctor, explains why having too many choices in your dating apps may actually lead you to be less satisfied in your resulting relationships.
Across every digital feed, I stumble across a video or story about how somebody got ghosted by someone they really liked; or another one about how they hooked up with someone in the back of an Uber and forgot to ask for their panties back. Am I just too naive to think people deserve better? I think the voices are starting to get to my head. I believe a good reason why short-term relationships have become so prevalent is the paradox of choice - the phenomenon that states having too much choice in our everyday lives can actually overwhelm and paralyze us, instead of feeling satisfied with our final decisions.
Are you overwhelmed by online dating? Do you find the number of dating sites and potential partners makes you want to just dive into another Netflix binge and give up on finding a mate? And psychological research on choice can help you understand why. We have easier access to potential mates than ever before in history. Apps and websites give us instant access to thousands—even hundreds of thousands—of dating partners in seconds.
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