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LoginCarly Snyder, MD is a reproductive and perinatal psychiatrist who combines traditional psychiatry with integrative medicine-based treatments. Falling in love is easy, but relationships can be hard—despite what Hollywood tries to sell us. Like anything else in life worth having, relationships take work. Some couples successfully weather the storms that inevitably arise, while others simply drift apart. When it comes to coupling, there is no instruction manual. Remember that old playground mantra: First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes so and so and a baby carriage? If only it were that simple. While some couples follow this traditional trajectory, many people do not. Fewer couples are getting married, some are having children before marriage, and some are choosing not to have children at all. Every relationship, like every individual, is unique.
Every single relationship moves through these five stages—though not only once. Think of these stages not as steppingstones to a final outcome but rather as a series of seasons that we move through in an eternal cycle. We often think all intimate relationships reliably progress from the initial meet-cute to giddy infatuation, to a series of small trials and tribulations, and finally to a blissful state of happily-ever-after. It's a satisfying narrative we see all the time in the movies, TV, and music. In reality, love is a journey without a final destination.
Posted July 23, Reviewed by Vanessa Lancaster. We know from research that, as adults, we continue to grow and move through stages of development, as do children. But for the longer haul, what needs to be on top of the list are safety: do you feel safe enough to be honest and vulnerable?
These five stages are attraction, reality, commitment, intimacy and finally, engagement. It may seem pretty obvious, but relationships — whether romantic or platonic — grow with time and undergo distinct changes as bonds are formed and intimacy is developed. Attraction is the first stage of dating, and plays a fundamental part in whether the connection can develop into something more. Whether you meet each other naturally whilst out with friends, family, or acquaintances, through a matchmaker or on online dating sites or apps, there has to be an element of attraction between each couple for it to develop into something romantic. Often known as the honeymoon phase, this is the stage at which everything feels very new and exciting and seems almost perfect.
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