Dating pace

Groundviews Blog

Years ago, after a couple of dates with a girl, she told me exactly that. In fact, I stopped making moves on her after that. I thought that when she was ready she would tell me or make a move. I completely backed off from making moves on her until she was ready. Eventually, I went to one of my female friends, trying to get insight from the female mind.

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Those same principles apply when considering a long-term romantic partner in your life. I always encourage clients and friends to leave a little mystery. Let it build. Modern dating typically ignores the traditional markers of commitment our parents told us about — fancying someone, courting them, asking them to go steady, the promise ring, engagement, wedding bells, kids… and they all live happily ever after. The modern love storyline rarely follows that construct anymore.

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Knowing your attraction style can help you to play to your strengths when dating. Want to navigate the modern dating scene with more clarity and insight? Then stick around, explore or click here to learn about working with me. Perhaps one of the most overlooked ideas in the dating world is the concept of pacing. Pacing is all about moving at a similar speed to a new romantic acquaintance, not rushing too far ahead of them or lagging behind. Think of two people dancing the tango.

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Prefer to listen than to read?

I dated in unproductive ways and looked for the wrong things in a partner. A number of years ago, I decided to go for therapy and really work on myself. I learned to connect better by building deep friendships, and I dealt with other issues that may have been holding me back. That leaves us at an impasse.

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