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LoginNovember Our relationships are the greatest predictor of our long-term happiness. There are so many things I wish I'd known when I started dating that would have saved me a lot of heartaches, time, and money. You may not be able to change the past, but you can learn from what happened and make better decisions in the future. Navigating romantic relationships is a vital skill for adult life.
If we can change our exercise and diet habits, can we make over our dating lives? In the throes of dating or pining after a crush, there can be the all-too-familiar feeling that you've been there before. Someone's profession, hair colour or height might be different from that of an ex, but their fear of commitment, wandering eye or air of unavailability is essentially the same. When dating, I seem to automatically seek what I've already sought: charming pseudo-intellectuals, suggestive and flirtatious, but essentially not interested in me. I chase after half-nothings and loose ends who will keep me occupied, but not attached. Philosopher and author Alain de Botton believes this destructive dating pattern may be the fault of our feelings.
You know that girl who has a timeline for when she'll get married, knows how many kids she's going to have, and even has their names picked out? Well, that was me. And everything was going according to plan—until I got dumped. That heartbreak cut raw and deep. But ultimately, it allowed me to find strength, happiness, and peace that only I could give myself. It also put me back in the dating arena.
I bet there were loads of things you wish you knew at 18, especially when it comes to how to start dating. We think we know it all, but only after making countless mistakes do we realise how wrong we had it! Knowing where you went wrong or what to look out for might not mean much to you now, but it can help other people in your life.
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