Dating after death spouse

Dating After Death

The first message I ever sent on a dating app offered a pretty good indication of how unprepared I was to reenter the dating world. It was a good question. Jamie collapsed and died while running a half-marathon; he was less than a mile from the finish line, where I was waiting for him. If I answered honestly, I would have said I was heartbroken, devastated, and lost. I was desperate for a way to escape my pain, and I'd convinced myself that dating was the answer. Jamie and I met in college. We became fast friends, and after lots of persistence on his part, I eventually agreed to date him. It was the best decision I could have made.

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But why the strong reaction? Does it a feel like a sense of betrayal to the deceased? Is just the thought of having to start over, to put ourselves out there just too overwhelming or too exhausting? Is it that the endeavor seems worthless as there will simply never EVER be someone as perfect for us as the partner we lost? And is it fair that a griever has to cope with this tremendous grief while also answering questions from family and friends about whether they plan to date again? Just as every person is unique, so is their reaction to the losses they face.

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Last Updated: February 22, Fact Checked. Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois.

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5 Tips for Dating a Widow or Widower

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