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LoginThis article is an excerpt from the Shortform book guide to "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover. Shortform has the world's best summaries and analyses of books you should be reading. Like this article? Sign up for a free trial here. According to Dr. Robert Glover , author of No More Mr. Glover indicates that even more so than other attachments, Nice Guys connect their self-worth to the moods, behaviors, and approval of women be it their partner, mother, teacher, and so on.
In the literal sense, the term describes a man who is agreeable , gentle , compassionate , sensitive , and vulnerable. When used negatively, a nice guy implies a man who is unassertive or otherwise unattractive. The opposite of a genuine "nice guy" is commonly described as a "jerk", a term for a mean, selfish and uncaring person. A man is labeled a "jerk" on how he treats his partner, seen as the extreme case where he would not have a sensitive or kind side and is seen as a "macho man" and insensitive type. However, the term is also often used sarcastically, particularly in the context of dating, [1] to describe someone who believes himself to possess genuine "nice guy" characteristics, even though he actually does not, and who uses acts of friendship and basic social etiquette with the ulterior aim of progressing to a romantic or sexual relationship. In their qualitative analysis , Herold and Milhausen [7] found that women associate different qualities with the "nice guy" label: "Some women offered flattering interpretations of the 'nice guy', characterizing him as committed, caring, and respectful of women.
I admitted in a previous post that on the scale of shows-up-on-time to seriously narcissistic, I tend to lean more toward the bad-boy side. But that was before I met Mr. New York , your classic—with a few caveats—nice guy.
Well, right, but it's also not the only important relationship quality. With this person—correction, this nice person—I had no spark; no butterflies keeping me up at night thinking about what he might be doing or thinking. But nothing was wrong. In fact, on face value, it seemed that everything was essentially right. We went out on a few dates.
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