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When the browser popped up, I noticed that he had been browsing the San Diego Craigslist page… for casual encounters. I got really mad and accused him of cheating on me. We have been having problems lately, but I never thought he would consider hooking up with someone else. It takes a lot of courage to seek counseling advice in such a vulnerable moment. Catching your partner browsing San Diego Craigslist is not a normal oops — it has the intention to hook up with others. It is totally normal that you feel confused, betrayed, angry, and unsure of what to do next. As a couples therapist, we see this often.

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What I remember is the dawning sense of power, the realization that I could order up sex, when desired, as easily and quickly as a pizza. He came to my dorm room and we rode up in the elevator together. I never even had to bother to put on shoes. I posted and responded to many ads over the 17 years since that first casual encounter. Near-immediate, easy, anonymous, it served as a playground for my not-insubstantial id. All manner of perversions were laid bare, all interest groups represented. Men sought women, women sought men, multiple men sought men, couples sought women and all other permutations one could calculate.

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I asked if I could photograph them in visual representations of their ads. Some said yes. Actual people post to the casual encounters section of Craiglsist? Who knew? Aren't all these wives going to recognize the rooms in their houses? The Best of Craig'slist is begging for someone to do this

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The Honesty and Weirdness of Hookup Requests on Craigslist

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