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LoginFirst, and most important, you need to trust your gut, trust your instincts. It is the same as the feeling you get walking into a dark alley or spooky house — the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. I doubt you can consciously will those hairs to stand up, no matter how hard you try. But if you go into a creepy situation, they stand up. Somewhere down in the basement of your brain, in the primitive, primal brain stem, a few neurons fired because of clues from your environment. Those hairs standing up on your neck and the goosebumps on your arms are your subconscious mind trying to warn you to pay attention. You will also notice, if you pay careful attention, that when you meet a person, any person, you usually get some kind of first impression of them.
You are not a loser for living with your parents, being single, not going to college, or having a 9-to-5 job. Not matching society standards does not make anyone a loser. It only indicates you have chosen a different path for your life.
Carver, PhD. The e-mail feedback I have received on the article has been tremendous. There are more victims in the environment of the Loser than his or her partner. The loved ones want to understand the situation and ask for recommendations and guidance. Obviously, this article has created the need for sequels. I hope to publish a guide to assist Losers who want to change their life and behavior.
Gary S. Aumiller , Daniel Goldfarb. Sure, he's gorgeous, funny, and charming—but early in any doomed relationship there are warning signals foretelling the bad news to come. Studies show that most women will try to justify these signs, excusing them so they don't interfere with their fantasy of having met the perfect man. Unfortunately, such signs are usually all too prophetic—they are the essence of what Gary Aumiller and Daniel Goldfarb call "Red Flags.
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